Zimsagbid is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, awe-inspiring jackal.

Zimsagbid created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimsagbid, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zimsagbid, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Zimsagbid's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Zimsagbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black corsets.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Fast once a month.