Tittafmil is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, calm turtle.

Tittafmil created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tittafmil, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tittafmil, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tittafmil's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tittafmil's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Always look after injured sheep.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.