Yartlunarp is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, resourceful coyote.

Yartlunarp created silver three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartlunarp, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yartlunarp, he will turn you into a hamster.

Yartlunarp's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Yartlunarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

3. Never think ill of sick foxes.

4. Never paint your face red.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.