Fosstalquaf Dagtindanfun is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful lobster.

Fosstalquaf Dagtindanfun created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Fosstalquaf Dagtindanfun, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fosstalquaf Dagtindanfun, she will strike you with lightening.

Fosstalquaf Dagtindanfun's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fosstalquaf Dagtindanfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Feed all hungry pigs.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never look in ponds.