Stiktamvin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, almighty beaver.

Stiktamvin created time and space seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stiktamvin, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Stiktamvin, he will make you grow a tail.

Stiktamvin's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Stiktamvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never feed lemons to turtles while wearing orange trousers.

5. Put Stiktamvin first in all things.