Dimfasjan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, pitiless guinea pig.

Dimfasjan created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dimfasjan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dimfasjan, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dimfasjan's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Dimfasjan's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Dimfasjan.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must love Dimfasjan.

5. Always help shrews.