Sismadpommutbogrotjarn Bog is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unthoughtful dragon.

Sismadpommutbogrotjarn Bog created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Sismadpommutbogrotjarn Bog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sismadpommutbogrotjarn Bog, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sismadpommutbogrotjarn Bog's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Sismadpommutbogrotjarn Bog's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near cats while wearing magenta scarves and balancing eight gold spheres on your hands.

3. Always obey Sismadpommutbogrotjarn Bog's priests.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always wear pink.