Tagvandudstikzen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, impressive giraffe.

Tagvandudstikzen created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagvandudstikzen, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tagvandudstikzen, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tagvandudstikzen's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Tagvandudstikzen's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tagvandudstikzen.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Tagvandudstikzen must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always wear mauve.