Hoglaksad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful fairy.

Hoglaksad created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hoglaksad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hoglaksad, he will torture you forever.

Hoglaksad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Hoglaksad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about archaea.

5. Always look after injured foxes.