Pograttail Flapcadkon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, fast hedgehog.

Pograttail Flapcadkon created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pograttail Flapcadkon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pograttail Flapcadkon, it will send you a sign.

Pograttail Flapcadkon's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Pograttail Flapcadkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory.

2. Do not take Pograttail Flapcadkon's name in vain.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never wear black jumpers.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.