Tifcub is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane yak.

Tifcub created a charm quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifcub, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tifcub, it will destroy your home solar system.

Tifcub's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tifcub's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never jump in holy places.