Gofvonxindoss is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, loving swan.

Gofvonxindoss created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofvonxindoss, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gofvonxindoss, she will not care at all.

Gofvonxindoss' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gofvonxindoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Gofvonxindoss must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.