Yaryogwee Zagmapmif is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, overgenerous raven.

Yaryogwee Zagmapmif created Mount Everest four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yaryogwee Zagmapmif, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yaryogwee Zagmapmif, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yaryogwee Zagmapmif's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Yaryogwee Zagmapmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Run away from purple voles, for they are unholy.

4. Yaryogwee Zagmapmif must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Yaryogwee Zagmapmif loves moths, so they must be honoured.