Babdussduss is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, irritating capybara.

Babdussduss created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Babdussduss, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Babdussduss, he will be very sad.

Babdussduss' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Babdussduss' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.