Bastlog is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, stupid octopus.

Bastlog created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastlog, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bastlog, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bastlog's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bastlog's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve aardvarks for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Hide if four capybaras approach from the north.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Put Bastlog first in all things.