Gessnargon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, boastful hummingbird.

Gessnargon created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessnargon, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gessnargon, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gessnargon's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Gessnargon's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.