Dotkonkem is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, impressive ant.

Dotkonkem created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Dotkonkem, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dotkonkem, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dotkonkem's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Dotkonkem's Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Dotkonkem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear violet ear rings.

4. Always obey Dotkonkem's priests.

5. Do not take Dotkonkem's name in vain.