Dosstailtondot is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered shark.

Dosstailtondot created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosstailtondot, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dosstailtondot, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dosstailtondot's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dosstailtondot's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Never talk about spacetime near eagles while wearing violet coats.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dosstailtondot.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.