Vidtitaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy pig.

Vidtitaf created the Sombrero Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidtitaf, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vidtitaf, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vidtitaf's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Vidtitaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Never eat garlic.

3. Always look after injured foxes.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Never think ill of sick bats.