Kinpit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental manatee.

Kinpit created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Kinpit, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinpit, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kinpit's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kinpit's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kinpit.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.