Pakyogcem is a god.

She takes the form of a large, uncaring mole.

Pakyogcem created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakyogcem, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pakyogcem, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pakyogcem's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Pakyogcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow dresses.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Pakyogcem on top of all buildings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pakyogcem.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.