Stafpogcip Quartmilkonjannibquart is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sage hippopotamus.

Stafpogcip Quartmilkonjannibquart created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafpogcip Quartmilkonjannibquart, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Stafpogcip Quartmilkonjannibquart, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Stafpogcip Quartmilkonjannibquart's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Stafpogcip Quartmilkonjannibquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

2. Never jump near sheep.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to nematodes while wearing green shirts.