Tarfemfig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, idiotic cow.

Tarfemfig created a charm quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tarfemfig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tarfemfig, it will manifest in front of you.

Tarfemfig's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tarfemfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat geese with great respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Hide from purple sharks for they are unholy.