Xuckmaptin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, resourceful faun.

Xuckmaptin created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckmaptin, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Xuckmaptin, he will manifest in front of you.

Xuckmaptin's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Xuckmaptin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never wear yellow shorts.