Xuckgatton is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless wasp.

Xuckgatton created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckgatton, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Xuckgatton, she will turn you into a goat.

Xuckgatton's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Xuckgatton's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

4. Always help mites in need.

5. Never eat lentils.