Tettiyarcen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, compassionate pig.

Tettiyarcen created the Black Eye Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettiyarcen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tettiyarcen, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tettiyarcen's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tettiyarcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about fire.