Sabvanbab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic wombat.

Sabvanbab created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sabvanbab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sabvanbab, he will destroy your favourite star.

Sabvanbab's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Sabvanbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to otters while wearing coats.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Sabvanbab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sabvanbab.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near goats while wearing orange rings.