Hamgepjat Jigkanban Hogabdibtim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, witty crow.

Hamgepjat Jigkanban Hogabdibtim created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamgepjat Jigkanban Hogabdibtim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hamgepjat Jigkanban Hogabdibtim, he will turn you into a worm.

Hamgepjat Jigkanban Hogabdibtim's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hamgepjat Jigkanban Hogabdibtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Hamgepjat Jigkanban Hogabdibtim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Hamgepjat Jigkanban Hogabdibtim loves rats, so they must be honoured.