Bitbidhas is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody crocodile.

Bitbidhas created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitbidhas, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bitbidhas, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bitbidhas' most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bitbidhas' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bitbidhas three times a day.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Bitbidhas loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.