Fumbanvid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, smart coyote.

Fumbanvid created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumbanvid, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fumbanvid, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fumbanvid's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Fumbanvid's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fumbanvid.

2. Run away from purple great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Retreat if three ducks approach from the east.

4. Never feed cucumbers to ants while wearing corsets.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.