Basspomsom is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, effective gerbil.

Basspomsom created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Basspomsom, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Basspomsom, she will turn you into a mouse.

Basspomsom's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Basspomsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Basspomsom.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about moons.