Ontfardogbossrut Titlarntail is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, quiet fairy.

Ontfardogbossrut Titlarntail created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontfardogbossrut Titlarntail, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ontfardogbossrut Titlarntail, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Ontfardogbossrut Titlarntail's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Ontfardogbossrut Titlarntail's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Never bounce near porpoises.