Narlnilquill is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, ill-tempered alligator.

Narlnilquill created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlnilquill, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Narlnilquill, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Narlnilquill's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Narlnilquill's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six rats approach from the north.

2. You must love Narlnilquill.

3. Hide if nine cats approach from the west.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Narlnilquill.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.