Stafvanpad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited badger.

Stafvanpad created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafvanpad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Stafvanpad, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Stafvanpad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Stafvanpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always help manatees in need.

4. Run away if four grasshopers approach from the east.

5. Do not stand on grass.