Jenyimxem is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, almighty goose.

Jenyimxem created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jenyimxem, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jenyimxem, it will boil you in a big pot.

Jenyimxem's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Jenyimxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never eat rice.

3. Worship no other gods but Jenyimxem.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always wear pink.