Ladgunpak is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, smart raven.

Ladgunpak created the Sombrero Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladgunpak, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ladgunpak, he will turn you into a worm.

Ladgunpak's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Ladgunpak's Holy Commandments

1. Put Ladgunpak first in all things.

2. You must love Ladgunpak.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. You must never eat onions.

5. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.