Wapkopstan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful naga.

Wapkopstan created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapkopstan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wapkopstan, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Wapkopstan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Wapkopstan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.