Bedtif is a god.

It takes the form of a large, clever wyrm.

Bedtif created the solar system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedtif, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bedtif, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Bedtif's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Bedtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt otters.

2. Foxes are not to be trusted.

3. Erect a giant green sculpture of Bedtif in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Never look in ponds.