Quatzakhon Dudwipdum is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonest aardvark.

Quatzakhon Dudwipdum created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatzakhon Dudwipdum, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quatzakhon Dudwipdum, he will make you grow a tail.

Quatzakhon Dudwipdum's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Quatzakhon Dudwipdum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Run away if four dogs approach from the south.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think about comets.