Sidstiksid is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, happy hedgehog.

Sidstiksid created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidstiksid, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sidstiksid, she will make you grow a tail.

Sidstiksid's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Sidstiksid's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Sidstiksid.

2. Never think about gravity near bats while wearing white trousers and balancing three platinum spheres on your legs.

3. Sidstiksid loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.