Sawgunvab Badsafwod is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish crane.

Sawgunvab Badsafwod created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawgunvab Badsafwod, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sawgunvab Badsafwod, he will turn you into a worm.

Sawgunvab Badsafwod's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Sawgunvab Badsafwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near sharks while wearing cyan kilts.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.