Benstanbest is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthoughtful finch.

Benstanbest created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Benstanbest, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Benstanbest, she will have a low opinion of you.

Benstanbest's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Benstanbest's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Retreat if seven grasshopers approach from the east.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near hamsters while wearing blue jumpers and balancing nine gold spheres on your back.

4. Benstanbest must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always treat snakes with great respect.