Batdimflap is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, contented giraffe.

Batdimflap created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batdimflap, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Batdimflap, she will turn you into a hamster.

Batdimflap's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Batdimflap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four sharks approach from the east.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Do not kill cats.