Vonlopyok is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, intelligent cobra.

Vonlopyok created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonlopyok, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vonlopyok, she will turn you into a frog.

Vonlopyok's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Vonlopyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the north.

3. Vonlopyok must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Run away from mauve eagles, for they are unholy.

5. Always look after injured snails.