Hotpitnurtflow is a god.

She takes the form of a small, annoying penguin.

Hotpitnurtflow created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotpitnurtflow, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hotpitnurtflow, she will make you grow a tail.

Hotpitnurtflow's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Hotpitnurtflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Hide from yellow cats for they are unholy.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never feed pineapples to sheep while wearing red shorts.

5. Never feed tomatoes to squirrels while wearing jumpers.