Mantaptail is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, generous scorpion.

Mantaptail created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mantaptail, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mantaptail, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mantaptail's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Mantaptail's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

2. Run away from purple grasshopers, for they are unholy.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Mantaptail on top of all buildings.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

5. Never talk about fire.