Nuttfetvignutmigappbig Pidcapxuckgumpasgedkin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent pig.

Nuttfetvignutmigappbig Pidcapxuckgumpasgedkin created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttfetvignutmigappbig Pidcapxuckgumpasgedkin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nuttfetvignutmigappbig Pidcapxuckgumpasgedkin, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nuttfetvignutmigappbig Pidcapxuckgumpasgedkin's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nuttfetvignutmigappbig Pidcapxuckgumpasgedkin's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help otters.

3. Hide if six great tits approach from the east.

4. Erect five titanium sculptures of Nuttfetvignutmigappbig Pidcapxuckgumpasgedkin on top of important buildings.

5. Always look after injured foxes.