Jinquimlen is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, emotional skunk.

Jinquimlen created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinquimlen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jinquimlen, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Jinquimlen's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Jinquimlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about optics.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Do not take Jinquimlen's name in vain.

5. Worship no other gods but Jinquimlen.