Yakcipjan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, slow finch.

Yakcipjan created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakcipjan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yakcipjan, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yakcipjan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yakcipjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Do not hurt capybaras.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Put Yakcipjan first in all things.

5. Always stare at clouds.