Rulfarnquill is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, egotistical finch.

Rulfarnquill created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulfarnquill, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rulfarnquill, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rulfarnquill's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Rulfarnquill's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not keep five birds in a large pit.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.